Flirtations
by neaira.awakened
Summary: Kira Cousland and her fellow Grey Warden find themselves thrown into romance at an unlikely time...
1. Flirtations

Kira Cousland was drunk. No, not drunk; positively smashed.

After defending Redcliffe Village from the siege of the undead, the Grey Warden thought she had seen it all. She had, after all, slain darkspawn in the Wilds and at Ostagar. The undead had been unsettling at first, but had been relatively easy to kill. When they came across more walking corpses in the castle, she was unshaken.

Then she saw Connor.

The Arl's son was possessed. He was an abomination. Kira knew this, but when she looked at him, she saw little Oren. Connor couldn't have been much older than her nephew, she thought. She was not about to slay a child.

The blood mage they had found in the dungeon had suggested a ritual. He could send a mage into the Fade where they would meet the demon and free Connor. This ritual, however, would come with a heavy price: a sacrifice. The Arl's wife had offered herself up as the sacrifice, but Kira would not allow it. There had to be another way. They would seek the help of the Circle of Magi.

The Circle was only a day's travel around Lake Calenhad, but the party was weary. When Kira announced they would be camping for the night, her companions offered a simultaneous sigh of relief. Even the Qunari, Sten, seemed pleased at the prospect of rest. Kira had just finished tying down her tent when Leliana approached her, holding two bottles of wine.

"Kira, have some wine!" Leliana sang. "It's good!"

"Where did you get this?" Kira asked, eyebrows raised.

"From the barkeep at Redcliffe!" Leliana giggled. "I charmed three bottles out of him."

Before Kira could protest, Leliana shoved a bottle in her hand and scampered off toward Morrigan's tent in the distance. Kira snorted, and regarded the bottle in her hand. Maybe a little wine would help her keep her mind off of things… but she couldn't drink it alone.

She spotted Alistair playing fetch with her Mabari hound, Isaac, and went over to them. The hound abandoned Alistair immediately, and trotted over to his master, body quivering with excitement.

"Who's a good boy?" she cooed, scratching Isaac behind his ears. The hound groaned happily, and sprawled out on ground.

"You know, he's only Mr. Cute and Cuddly when you're around," Alistair laughed. "Although I think I might be growing on him."

"He's a pretty good judge of character," Kira said, smiling. "Leliana got some wine in Redcliffe. Want some?"

"Oooh, wine?" Alistair looked at the bottle. "And it's Orlesian wine? Lead the way, my lady."

The Grey Wardens sat down by the camp fire, taking turns with the bottle. Before long, the bottle was empty, and Kira was drunk. No, she was smashed. Kira had had wine before, of course, but never that much at once. She'd have been lying if she had said she didn't enjoy it the warm, fuzzy feeling spreading to her limbs.

Alistair had fared much better, having spent six months of hazing with the rest of the Grey Wardens. He'd have been lying if he had said he didn't enjoy his fellow Warden's reaction to Orlesian wine. She was giggly, and he loved the sound of her laugh. It was even better because she was laughing at his jokes, and he knew most of them were pretty terrible. Still, he'd take what he could get.

Alistair was in the middle of a particularly bad joke about darkspawn when Kira drunkenly turned to him.

"Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?" she slurred.

"Um, no… not unless they wanted a favor," he stammered. "Well, there was this one time in Denerim, but those women were… not like you."

Kira cocked her head and smiled, but did not speak.

"Wait, is this your way of telling me you think I'm handsome?" Alistair raised an eyebrow.

"My lips are sealed," Kira replied, zipping a finger across her lips.

Alistair knew it was the wine talking, but he couldn't help himself.

"Oh, I see," he crooned. "I'll get it out of you yet. So… is this the part where I get to tell you the same?"

"Not if you don't think so," Kira replied, leaning toward him.

"Oh, I think so," Alistair whispered. "I'll just spring it on you when you least expect it."

Kira felt her cheeks burning. She was so close to him, she could almost feel him. All she had to do was lean just a little closer and…

"Hic!" Kira squeaked, slapping a hand across her mouth.

Alistair roared with laughter.

"I think you've had a little too much wine, my lady," he chuckled. "Here, I'll help you to you tent."

Kira walked unsteadily to her tent, Alistair holding the flaps open for her.

"You'll probably have a headache in the morning," he said. "Nothing a little elfroot won't fix, though."

Kira smiled, and disappeared into her tent.

Alistair sighed, rubbing his chin absentmindedly. He looked at his fellow Warden's tent once more. She'd forget the whole conversation by morning, he thought, as he drifted off to sleep.

Kira was up before he was the next morning. She greeted him with a smile and a plate of breakfast.

"I meant it, you know," she whispered, passing the plate to him.

Alistair's cheeks flushed.

Oh, it was going to be a good day.


	2. Home

Kira and her hound had taken position at the front of the group. Isaac kept his nose low to the ground, ears prickling at various noises. Sten followed close behind the Warden, stoic and resolute. Leliana had spent a great deal of time badgering Morrigan about everything from her taste in clothing to her belief in the Maker. Morrigan had grown more and more annoyed as the day wore on. Alistair, who had found himself at the rear of the group for once, would have enjoyed Leliana's pestering of the witch if he had been paying attention.

Alistair was… distracted.

She thinks I'm handsome.

He was giddy. His heart felt like it could leap out of his chest. Kira thought he was handsome and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. She was gorgeous with her short dark hair carefully adorned with tiny braids. And those eyes, so blue and expressive.

He found himself watching her, studying her movements. She was careful and precise; no doubt the result of her training as a rogue. Each step seemed to radiate purpose. He noticed the subtle line of her neck when she'd absentmindedly toss her hair away from her face.

Maker's breath, he had it bad.

Alistair's preoccupation with his fellow Warden had not gone unnoticed. Morrigan had glanced back on several occasions, noticing the ex-templars growing fascination with Kira. She smirked and let herself fall into step with him.

"Alistair, I've been wondering something," she began. "Is it permissible for two Grey Wardens to… oh, what's the word I'm looking for?"

Alistair felt his face flush. He prayed that Kira was out of earshot.

"Um, I don't…" he stammered.

"Fraternize," she continued. "Yes, that's the word I'm looking for."

"What's wrong with fraternizing?" Alistair replied.

"It seems most undisciplined, for an organization that claims it will do whatever is necessary to end the darkspawn threat," Morrigan said.

"One thing has nothing to do with the other!" Alistair shot back.

Morrigan smirked at his growing irritation.

"Oh no?" she plowed on. "And what if a Grey Warden was forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?"

"That is a... a ridiculous question!" Alistair sputtered.

"And I have my answer. Most kind of you."

Morrigan's face was twisted with amusement. She picked up her pace, and Alistair was once again holding anchor for the group. He silently cursed the witch, though he was more annoyed at himself for letting her get to him.

There wasn't a rule forbidding Grey Wardens from getting romantically involved… was there? If there was, he hadn't heard of it. Then again, Kira was the first female Warden he had ever met. She was also the first woman that made his stomach do somersaults. Well, there was the Revered Mother, but those weren't _good _somersaults. Surely he wouldn't be dealing with this if it were _wrong_.

Right?

Alistair sighed and looked back up at Kira. His heart fluttered in his chest. No… Morrigan was wrong. There was nothing wrong with this. This was a _good_ feeling, and he was going to ride it out. He felt good about this, and jogged up to fall into stride with the Qunari.

They reached the Circle tower by late afternoon, finding it in disarray. Abominations. Blood magic. Probably everyone was dead.

Kira had convinced the Templar-Commander to let them enter the tower, to find out what happened to the mages. They found survivors… and old mage, Wynne, had insisted on coming along. Surely if they had survived, there would be more deep inside the tower. They fought abomination after abomination. And then the world went black.

_He wakes up and he's somewhere he doesn't recognize. There's a woman here. He thinks he knows her. Goldanna? His sister… this is his family. His nieces and nephews are running around. He's… content. Happy. This is what he wants. Then, he sees her, and he feels complete. This is right. This is how it's supposed to be. But… she's acting strangely and telling him that this isn't real. Goldanna isn't real. Nothing is real. He wants to fight it, but he knows that she's telling the truth, and there's a fight. He feels himself slipping away, the demon's hold on him is broken. He slips away, and he is alone again._

They had fought their way out of the Fade, found themselves face to face with Uldred, the maleficar who had brought destruction to the Circle. Alistair watched as she refused to give up on the mages, even when the trapped templar told them there was no hope left. But they found more survivors, and they saved them. The Circle was saved.

The mages agreed to come to Redcliffe, and Alistair felt more relief then than he ever had before. The old mage, Wynne, joined them and Kira asked her to enter the Fade again, to save Connor. The healer agreed, and soon the boy was awake and seemingly unaware of what had transpired.

They set up camp for the night outside along the eastern bank of the lake, and Alistair went to her. Thanked her. She smiled, and handed him an amulet… his mother's amulet.

He looked at her then. He wanted to speak, to say something important, but couldn't find the words. He made a joke, "No one ever listens to me, let alone remembers what I've said."

She touched his arm.

"Of course I remembered," she whispered. "I care about you."

They took watch together that night, trading jokes and stories of their lives before the Wardens.

_This is what home feels like_, he thought. _This is right._


	3. Jealousy

The Warden and her companions were two days outside of Denerim, on their way to find Brother Genitivi. The only hope of healing Arl Eamon was to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Frankly, Kira would have preferred for Bann Teagan and Lady Isolde to face reality and prepare Connor for his new role. She had glanced back at Alistair, and the pain in his face tore at her heart. Her decision was made then. They would at least _try_ to save the Arl.

They had been walking for hours on the West Road. Kira lead the group with Isaac close on her heels. The Mabari suddenly let out a low growl. Kira went on guard immediately and held a hand up to her companions. She could see someone off in the distance - a woman was running toward them.

"Oh, thank the Maker!" the woman said. "We need help! They attacked the wagon! Please help us… follow me, I'll take you to them!"

They started running. There were dead oxen… the wagon… Kira knew something wasn't right. The scene was obviously set up. A slight elven figure emerged and suddenly they were surrounded.

_Crack!_

"Watch out!" Alistair shouted.

Kira narrowly avoided the dead tree that fell behind them, deftly rolling out of the way. She stood quickly, shooting a look at Alistair. His face crumpled with relief, and his hand stood ready at his sword. Morrigan and Wynne readied for battle, faint sparks building at the edge of their staffs. Leliana and Sten drew their weapons, waiting for Kira's signal. Isaac let out a fierce growl, the fur spiking on his neck.

"The Grey Wardens die here!" the elf shouted.

Kira shouted and the party attacked. The battle was over quickly. Kira had taken down the last archer when Alistair called to her.

"The elf is still alive!" he called.

"Tie him up," Kira called back. "I want to talk with him."

Alistair looked annoyed, but bound the elf's hands tightly. Kira jogged down to the clearing. Wynne had busied herself with applying poultices and casting healing spells on the rest of the party. Kira studied the elf. He was handsome with tanned skin. He obviously wasn't from Ferelden. The Warden kicked him, and the elf slowly opened his eyes and groaned.

"What… oh… I rather thought I would wake up dead or not wake up at all as the case may be," he said in an accent Kira could not identify.

"That can be easily rectified," Kira snarled.

"Of that, I have no doubt," the elf replied. "But if you haven't killed me yet, that means you must have other plans?"

"I have some questions," Kira said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Oh? So I am to be interrogated? Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends," he began. "_I am a member of the Antivan Crows__,_ brought here for the sole purpose of slaying any remaining Grey Wardens. Which I have failed at, sadly."

Alistair snorted. Kira shot a look back at him, and he mouthed a feeble "sorry!"

"Who hired you?" she continued.

"A rather taciturn fellow… Loghain, I think was his name."

Kira and Alistair narrowed their brows. Kira continued questioning the would-be assassin. He had an odd look on his face, and Kira had the distinct impression that he was flirting with her.

"What are you proposing, exactly?" she said cautiously.

"I failed to kill you, so my life is forfeit. I rather like my life. You are the type to give the Crows pause, so let me serve you instead."

"You must think I'm royally stupid," she laughed.

"I think you're royally tough to kill," the elf responded. "And utterly gorgeous. Not that I think you'll respond to simple flattery. But there are worse things in life than serving the whims of a deadly sex goddess."

Kira rolled her eyes. Alistair tensed behind her.

Zevran plowed on, offering to divulge secrets in case of future Crow attempts, or warm her bed at night. Kira couldn't believe what she was hearing, and glanced back at Alistair. He was angry, there was no doubt of that.

"Is this before or after you stab me in the back?" she spat.

The elf chuckled. "The things you say! They must drive the men back home wild!"

Kira glanced back at Alistair again. He shook his head, his eyes practically screaming, "NO!" at her.

"Very well," she hesitated. "I accept your offer."

"WHAT?" Alistair exploded. "We're taking the _assassin_ with us now?! Does that really seem like a good idea?"

Kira took him aside.

"Don't worry about," she said softly. "We could use him."

Alistair wanted to kick and scream, to yell at her like he yelled at the Arl when he was sent to the Chantry. He wanted to point out the idiocy of bringing someone who had just tried to kill her along. He wanted her to see why this was a terrible idea. But then he looked into her eyes, and he couldn't. What was it about her that made him back down so quickly?

"Alright, alright, I see your point," he sighed. "Still, if there was a sign we were desperate, I think it just knocked on the door and said, 'hello.'"

Kira helped Zevran up. He pledged an oath to serve her, and they made their way back to the main road for Denerim. Alistair stewed silently, casting glares at the Antivan.

_How can she trust him so quickly? _

He watched the elf. He was watching Kira, interest painted all over his face. Alistair felt hot. He was jealous. _Jealous._ And completely absorbed in his own thoughts. He didn't notice when Kira had told them they would be camping for the night, and found himself nearly running into Sten.

The Qunari shot a look at Alistair. The Warden merely shrugged and sputtered an apology. Sten growled, and walked away. Soon the camp was set up. Leliana and Wynne had worked together on dinner. Alistair had half expected Zevran to remain the shadows. Instead, the elf settled himself between Leliana and Kira, flashing radiant smiles to both of them, telling them of his life with the Crows.

Alistair sat by the fire and stared at his fellow Warden.

_He will not harm you. I won't let him._


	4. Love Fool

They were camped at the base of the Frostback Mountains, about a half day's journey from the Village of Haven. Alistair was watching the Antivan Crow. It had been a week since Kira had spared him, accepting his oath of loyalty, and though the elf had so far kept to his word, Alistair did not trust him. The fact that Kira seemed to _enjoy_ the elf's company certainly didn't help matters.

She would ask him questions about his life with the Crows. Ask questions about Antiva. The assassin would answer them, his voice smooth and captivating. Zevran was interested with her, there was no doubt of that, and how could he not be? Kira was beautiful, resourceful and cunning, and Alistair knew he was kidding himself if he ever thought he was the first to notice.

He didn't like the way Zevran looked at Kira, and he certainly didn't like the fact that Kira seemed content to disregard the fact that Zevran had tried to kill her. She was merciful. She believed in second chances. She had shown that again and again, first with recruiting the Qunari to their cause. Alistair furrowed his brow and sighed.

"You are a fool, Alistair."

The ex-templar made a face and turned. Morrigan was standing behind him, her face twisted into a smirk.

"What is it, Morrigan?" he groaned.

"'Tis simply an observation," she said. "Jealousy does not suit you."

"I'm not jealous," Alistair scoffed. "What are you even talking about?"

Morrigan did not speak, instead turning to rest her gaze on the other Grey Warden. She was sitting by the campfire talking with Zevran and Leliana, her laughter ringing out every so often.

"I'm not _jealous,_" Alistair hesitated. "I'm… concerned."

"Concerned that she might find him more interesting than you?" Morrigan said.

"Maker's breath, he tried to kill her! I'm supposed to just let it go?" Alistair threw his hands up in frustration.

Morrigan sighed.

"I cannot say that I understand her reasons for taking the elf along, but I would have more surprised if she had not spared him," she said. "I say this only because I have come to consider Kira a friend. She cares for you, for reasons I cannot comprehend. You are a fool if you cannot see that."

Alistair frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Do you not see the way she looks at you? How she always values your opinion?" Morrigan pressed on.

"Why do you even care about this?" Alistair asked.

"She is my friend, as I said. I have given you my opinion; do with it what you will."

Morrigan turned and began to walk away. She hesitated for a moment and looked over her shoulder.

"She gave you her father's shield, did she not?"

Before Alistair could answer, she was gone. He felt his stomach drop. Morrigan was right. Alistair groaned, remembering the night Kira had given the shield to him.

_They had camped for the night on their way back to Denerim after the failed ambush from the dragon cultists at the Lake Calenhad docks. She had been sitting by the fire, tracing the outline of the family crest engraved on the shield. Alistair had gone to her, and saw the hints of tears welling in her eyes. _

"_What's this?" he asked._

"_This is the Shield of Highever. It was my father's, passed down through generations. I expect it would have gone to Fergus when he became teyrn."_

"_It's impressive, may I see it?"_

_Kira nodded and handed the shield to Alistair. He regarded it with admiration, noting the marks of blades from foes long since fallen still visible on the surface. He handed it back to her, but she shook her head._

"_No, I want you have it," she said. "I am no warrior, and it's too cumbersome for me to carry."_

"_But… are you sure? It's a family heirloom. Shouldn't it go to someone else in your family?"_

_Kira turned her head away from him then, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Alistair realized his mistake immediately. She was the last Cousland. And she was a Grey Warden. She would never have an heir; never have someone to pass the shield down to._

"_I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you. Maker's breath, I'm so thoughtless sometimes. I just… I never know what to say in these situations and I always end up looking like a bumbling idiot."_

"_You're not an idiot," she said, turning back to him. "Do you remember when you asked me if I had anywhere that I called home?"_

_Alistair nodded. _

"_You told me that it was with the Grey Wardens now."_

"_Home is where your family is. You're my family now, Alistair. I want you to have it."_

"_I… well, when you put it that way, I guess I'd be a complete bastard to refuse it."_

"_A _royal_ bastard," she said, grinning._

"_Ha ha, very funny."_

He had had the shield ever since, trading in his old templar shield to Bodahn, the dwarven merchant for some ale and socks. Alistair felt like bashing his head into a tree. Repeatedly.

_Maker's breath, I am a fool._

The ex-templar stood and crossed the camp, stopping in front of his fellow Warden.

"Kira, could I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"

Zevran cocked an eyebrow. "Ah, but we are having such a wonderful conversation."

"And you can continue it with Leliana," Kira said plainly. "Let's go for a walk, Alistair. We need some more firewood anyway."

The Wardens headed into the woods. Alistair was nervous, and every time he tried to speak, he lost his nerve. Kira glanced at him sideways and stopped in her tracks. She reached out and touched his arm.

"What's on your mind, Alistair?"

Alistair hesitated, and pulled something out of his pack. He began unwrapping the cloth and held up a rose.

"Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?"

Kira raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a trick question?"

"Yes, absolutely. I'm trying to trick you. Is it working? Aw, I just about had you, didn't I?" Alistair chuckled.

"I've seen you with it before," Kira said.

"I picked it in Lothering," Alistair said. "I remember thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So, I've had it ever since."

"And what do you intend to do with it?" she said, nearly whispering.

"I thought I might give it to you, actually… In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you," Alistair said, color rising to his cheeks.

"Thank you, Alistair. That's a lovely thought," she said..

"I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking, here I am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experience of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy."

"It hasn't been all bad," she said, reaching a hand out to touch his arm.

"I thought maybe I could say something," Alistair continued. "Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this… darkness."

"I feel the same way about you."

They stood facing each other, all blushes and smiles. Alistair reached up and stroked her arms. Kira started leaning forward, anticipating a kiss.

"I'm glad you like it," Alistair said, pulling back slightly. "Now, if we could move right on past this awkward embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it."

Kira giggled.

"Sounds good. Off with the armor, then."

Alistair's face flushed quickly to the deepest shade of red Kira had seen.

"Bluff called!" he took a step backwards. "Damn! She saw right through me."

"You're so cute when you're bashful," Kira said in a low voice.

"I… uh, perhaps we should head back to camp, so the others don't start to worry. You know how it is."

Alistair turned awkwardly a few times. Kira cocked her head at him, an odd look on her face.

"You don't happen to remember the way back to camp, do you?" he chuckled nervously.

Kira laughed, shaking her head.

"Oh, Alistair, what _am_ I going to do with you?"

She took his hand and led him back to camp.


	5. A Test of Faith

The Gauntlet was all that stood between them and Andraste's ashes. The Guardian had lived centuries past his time, an original disciple of Andraste, waiting for the faithful. All that he had known was lost, and yet, he stood with purpose, sworn to watch over the temple until the Tevinter Imperium had fallen. Kira felt both pity and respect for the man, but felt that they were not so different in the end. She would not rest until the Blight was defeated.

He explained the tests they would face as tests of faith. Only the worthy would gain access to the ashes. Kira nodded in understanding, and told the Guardian they were ready to proceed.

"Before you go, there is something I must ask," the Guardian began. "I see that the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past. Your suffering… and the suffering of others. You abandoned your father and mother, leaving them in the hands of Rendon Howe, knowing he would show no mercy. Do you think you failed your parents?"

Kira blanched. She was not prepared for this.

"Yes," she answered quietly. "I should have defended them to the death."

The Guardian continued to speak, though Kira heard nothing but the blood rushing in her ears. What purpose could such a question serve? Alistair placed a strong hand on her shoulder.

"You are too hard on yourself," he said, shooting at look at the Guardian. "No one's perfect."

The Guardian directed his gaze to her fellow Warden.

"Alistair, you wonder if things would have been different if you were with Duncan on the battlefield."

Kira felt Alistair's hand squeeze on her shoulder. She lifted her hand to his, hoping to steady him.

"You could have shielded him from the killing blow," the Guardian continued. "You wonder if you should have died, and not him?"

"I… yes," Alistair stammered. "If Duncan had been saved, and not me, everything would be better. If I'd just had the chance… maybe…"

Alistair dropped his hand to his side and looked away. Kira reached out to him, trying to encourage him silently, as the Guardian posed questions to Leliana and Morrigan. Finally, the Guardian stepped aside and they entered the Gauntlet.

The first chamber was filled with the ghosts of Andraste's past. Kira answered the riddles posed by Andraste's followers and betrayers with relative ease. She smiled to herself, thinking that her old tutor would have been proud of her cunning.

The second door opened and a figure stood before them. Kira felt her knees buckle and staggered backwards.

"Kira, are you alright?" Alistair asked, rushing to catch her.

"Father?" Kira whispered.

* * *

They returned to camp that evening. A pouch containing the ashes rested against Kira's breast beneath her armor. She had not spoken since their last encounter with Brother Genitivi and had retired to her tent without dinner.

Alistair sat outside her tent with her hound, Isaac, unsure about what to do. He wanted to go to her, to hold her. He wanted to tell her that everything was alright. The Warden rested his head on his hands and sighed. He heard footsteps and turned to see the elf approaching him.

"Alistair, if I may have a word?" Zevran's smooth voice was low and serious.

"About…?"

"Please, indulge me. Let us walk."

Alistair hesitated for a moment, regarding the elf's face. He pushed himself up and the two walked to the tree line.

"Alistair, I have noticed you are not the most experienced when it comes to women," Zevran said.

"Oh, Maker, you've got to be kidding me…" Alistair muttered.

"And I understand that something happened at the temple in Haven," Zevran pressed on. "Something that has shaken our leader?"

"Well, yes, to put it lightly. She saw her father in the Gauntlet. The only problem is her father was murdered."

"Ah," Zevran nodded. "You two are an item, no?"

"Um… well, I don't know. Maybe?"

"Alistair, my friend, you need to go to her," the elf said. "She needs you now, and since you seem content to sit and brood, I thought I should urge you into action, so to speak."

Alistair stared at the assassin for a moment, trying to find the slightest hint of jest in his face. Finally, he nodded.

"You're probably right…" the Warden said. "I… thank you, Zevran."

"Any time, my friend. Perhaps I can give you some pointers later on, when you've crossed that threshold."

"And that's my cue to leave," Alistair said, rolling his eyes.

Alistair walked away, hearing Zevran chuckling behind him. The assassin was right. Kira _did_ need him after today, even if she didn't realize it. He walked slowly to her tent, and knelt down.

"Kira, it's Alistair," he said. "Are you awake?"

He heard a loud sniff and what sounded like someone rustling for a handkerchief.

"I'm awake," said the muffled voice inside.

"Can I come in?"

Kira did not answer.

"I… just thought you might want to talk. About today. If you want me to leave you alone, just say the word and I will go and make an ass out of myself somewhere else in camp."

"Okay, you can come in," she said finally, untying the flaps on the inside.

Alistair blew out a breath and crawled into the tent. It was homier than he would have expected, and he smelled different spices and herbs. It was a very calming environment.

Kira sat before him, dressed in her plain clothes. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her nose was red. Still, he had never seen her look more beautiful, and all he wanted to do was pull her close to him and hold her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She pulled her knees to her chest and laid her head down.

"I wasn't prepared for any of that," Kira said. "First it was all those zealots in Haven. The things we found in that village were just… awful."

Alistair nodded, shuddering. It seemed the people of Haven had a penchant for human sacrifice, among other things.

"Then we met the Guardian and he asked those horrible questions. What was the point of that? And then… Father…"

She faltered, choking back a sob.

"I _knew_ it wasn't really him, but I wanted to believe it was him. He called me 'pup', Alistair."

Alistair moved next to her and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I miss them so, so much," she whispered. "I don't know what I'd do if I had to do this alone."

"You'd probably have fewer headaches, since you wouldn't need to listen to my stupid jokes."

Kira laughed, and playfully nudged him with her shoulder.

"They're not _all_ that bad."

"But most of them are," he chuckled.

They sat in silence for awhile, with Kira resting in his arms. Kira felt safe. Comfortable. There was something _right_ about this.

"Thank you for coming to talk to me," Kira said, breaking the silence.

"Anything for you, my lady," he said quietly. "So, let me ask you a question… all this time we've spent together, the tragedy, the fighting, the whole Blight thing looming over our heads… will you miss it when it's over?"

"You mean, will I miss you?"

"I've just… come to care for you. A great deal. Maybe it's because we've gone through so much together. Maybe I'm imagining it, or fooling myself. Am I… fooling myself? Or do you think you could feel the same way about me?"

Kira sat up and looked at him.

"Don't you know how I feel about you?"

Alistair smiled.

"So I fooled you, did I? Good to know."

Alistair ran his fingers through her hair and leaned in toward her. He breathed deeply, and noticed she smelled faintly of cinnamon. Their lips met, and Kira wrapped her arms around his neck. She parted her lips, deepening the kiss. He pulled away then, face flushed.

"Maker's breath, that wasn't too soon, was it? Please say it wasn't."

Kira grinned.

"I don't know… I think I might need some more practice. Just to be safe."

"Oh, well I'll have to arrange that, then, won't I?" he said, leaning in for another kiss. Kira moaned softly.

"Alistair, do you want to spend the night with me?"

He pulled away and looked at her.

"Spend the night?"

"Well, I mean… if you don't want to, I understand."

"No! No, it's not that at all!" Alistair stammered, his cheeks flushing. "I just… I don't want to seem overeager, and I don't have much experience in this department. I was quite sheltered at the Chantry, after all. It's not that I haven't thought about it, because I have, but I just feel like a bumbling idiot half the time and I just… I wish I was better at this. I want it to be right. Have you ever… you know…"

"No, I haven't," she said quietly. "I think this is about as right as it gets, given the circumstances."

Alistair exhaled.

"Haha, yes, with the darkspawn on our heels, ready to pounce at any moment? Hot."

They both laughed and pressed their foreheads together.

"Well, I'm willing to give it a shot if you are…" Alistair said slowly.

"Okay," Kira whispered.

She raised her head to meet his lips.

Suddenly, there was commotion coming from outside. Isaac was barking and growling. The Grey Wardens looked at each other.

"Kira!" Leliana yelled. "We have a problem!"


	6. Interruptions

The Grey Wardens broke apart, and Kira hurriedly began slipping on her armor. Alistair scrambled out of the tent.

"Maker's breath, what is going on out here?" Alistair shouted.

Kira pulled on her boots and gloved, grabbed her daggers and shot out of the tent. Alistair was waiting for her, and together they ran toward the tree line where the rest of the party had assembled.

The cause of the commotion was an intruder, and he looked absolutely terrified. He did, after all, have the blade of a trained assassin resting at his throat, a growling Mabari at his feet and a very large and imposing Qunari standing before him.

"State your purpose," Sten demanded.

"Oh, Maker," the man whimpered. "I was just looking for the Wardens, I was."

"In the middle of the night? Unlikely."

Kira crossed her arms and suppressed a laugh. Sten had a way with words. The man was unarmed, and dressed in regular clothing. He was not a threat, at least not physically. If he was a scout, he was a bad one, and he was certainly no mage. The Warden placed a hand on her Mabari's head, and the dog relaxed instantly.

"Zevran, you can let him go now," Kira said.

He looked at her and nodded slightly.

"One move against her and you will not live to regret it," Zevran said smoothly, withdrawing his blade and pushing the man forward.

The man looked around nervously.

"Who are you?" Kira asked, crossing her arms.

"You're a hard woman to find, you are!" the man stammered.

"Okay, I'll ask again," Kira said, narrowing her eyes. "Who are you?"

"Where are my manners? The name's Levi. Levi Dryden."

Kira arched an eyebrow.

"Dryden's a black name."

"With all due respect, my lady, you probably know better than anyone that things are rarely that simple," Levi chuckled.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I was a friend of Duncan's," Levi said. "Did he never mention me? Levi of the Coin? Levi the Trader?"

Kira looked at Alistair, who shook his head and shrugged.

"Duncan never mentioned you," she said.

"Really? He never told you of old Levi? We've known each other for years…"

"Just get to the point," Kira said.

"Right, the point. See, Duncan promised that together we'd look into something important for the Wardens. And for me. But poor Duncan... well, no more. A tragedy it is, at that. But I know he would want his work carried on. His pledge fulfilled."

"And just what kind of pledge did he make to you?" Alistair stepped in.

"My great-great-grandmother, Sophia Dryden, was the last Warden-Commander of Ferelden, back when the Wardens were known as freeloaders. So King Arland banished the Wardens and he took House Dryden's land and titles."

"Just tell us what we need to know, Levi," Kira said.

"Duncan wanted to reclaim the old Grey Warden base, Soldier's Peak. And perhaps we'll uncover evidence to restore my family's honor along the way. Nobody's been to Soldier's Peak since the Grey Wardens were banished. But I found a way. They say it's haunted, and it's certainly dangerous. Will you help me?"

"How would that help us, exactly?" Kira asked.

"Soldier's Peak has strategic and symbolic importance," Levi said. "Duncan said that would be worth it right there. He also hoped to recover lost Warden history and perhaps a few old relics. No one knows what's up there now."

"We need to think about this," Kira said. "But you're not going anywhere. Leliana, would you take him to get some stew?"

"Oh, yes, let's give him something to eat when we can barely feed ourselves," Morrigan hissed.

"We have plenty," Kira snapped back.

"Have it your way," Morrigan said, tossing her hands up in frustration. The witch turned and stalked back to her makeshift hut.

Kira turned and nodded to Leliana, and the bard took Levi's arm and walked him toward the campfire with Zevran and the hound close behind.

The Grey Wardens, Sten and Wynne stood at the tree line.

"I do not see the point in this," Sten said. "We have darkspawn to contend with."

"But if Duncan made a promise to him, we should honor that… right?" Alistair replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It might be worth a look," Wynne supplied. "I find myself fascinated with the idea of seeing Soldier's Peak."

Kira frowned.

"Our first priority is getting the ashes back to Redcliffe," she began. "After we do that… I think we should see what's up there."

"It is your decision," the Qunari sighed, and walked away.

Wynne regarded the Wardens with a strange look on her face and excused herself, retiring to her tent.

Alistair and Kira stood alone at the tree line. Alistair fidgeted nervously, and looked at Kira. She was staring at the sky, arms crossed. Her auburn hair glittered under the moonlight. Alistair's breath caught in his throat.

_Maker's breath, she is beautiful._

He reached out and pulled her to him. She smiled and laid her head against his chest. The splintmail was cool against her cheek.

"This would be a lot more comfortable without the armor," she murmured.

Alistair breathed deeply, inhaling the sweet cinnamon smell of her hair. If they hadn't been interrupted… Well, he probably would have been struck by lightning, if the Chantry had anything to say about it.

"So… what are the chances of us slipping into your tent without anyone noticing?" he asked, half joking.

"Not very good," Kira laughed. "But, one smart comment from anyone and I'll feed them straight to the darkspawn."

"You are a wicked, wicked woman," Alistair crooned, and pulled her into a kiss. "But, it's late. You should get some rest."

"You could just lay with me, then," she whispered.

Alistair smiled and shook his head.

"No, my lady, I'm afraid I couldn't."

He walked her back to her tent, and not for the first time, silently cursed himself for being a gentleman. But when she smiled and kissed him one last time before retiring for the evening, he melted and the regret fell away.

_Maybe the waiting isn't so bad, after all. Maybe she likes it this way._

Alistair sat by the campfire and sighed, the ghost of a smile played on his lips, and he thought of her.


	7. Joinings

It was late. The evening's earlier excitement had ebbed away, though those on watch took care to be extra vigilant. The campfire crackled as its flames kissed the air. A wolf howled somewhere deep in the forest, and the Mabari supplied a low and unthreatening growl in response.

Alistair had lain awake, staring at the fabric of his tent for what felt like hours. He was accustomed to sleepless nights. The nightmares plagued him, and steadily intensified as time passed, and he found the only way to avoid them altogether was to forfeit sleep. Tonight, however, was different.

His mind raced with thoughts of what could have been. If that damn merchant hadn't found their camp... well, it was best not to think about _that _right now. Alistair groaned and rolled haphazardly to his side. He had to laugh at himself then. Here he was, a Grey Warden, one of two left in all of Ferelden, and he was falling to pieces because of a pretty girl.

Of course, he knew it was more than that. They were victims of circumstance, thrown together in the midst of death and tragedy. And even when things seemed hopeless at times, something had blossomed between them in the unlikeliest of places.

Kira was smart, resourceful, and witty. She laughed at his stupid jokes, and she defended him. And he found that he was willing to do nearly anything for her. He wanted to protect her, help her, to make her laugh and smile. She meant more to him than he ever thought possible, and he couldn't imagine life without her.

_I love her. _

The thought forced a shiver down Alistair's spine.

_I'm in love._

He rolled to rest on his back once more and folded his arms behind his head. Love. The one thing he thought he would never have. Alistair sighed. In a perfect world, they would be married, having babies, and just enjoying each other. Except in a perfect world, they never would have met. She would have been paired off with some well-respected nobleman's son, and he… well, he would have been holed up in the Circle Tower addicted to lyrium.

_Thank the Maker the world isn't perfect._

Alistair heard the rustling of his tent flaps.

"Isaac, I'd _really_ like it if you wouldn't come and pick through my pack when you think I'm sleeping," he groaned, sitting up.

But it was not the Mabari sneaking into his tent this night.

"Kira?"

"I couldn't sleep," she whispered. "I went out to camp and Sten was asleep by the fire, so I thought I'd slip in here… But first, I need to wake up Sten."

Kira whistled softly, and her hound came bounding, tongue flapping wildly, as he shoved his head into the tent.

"Who's my favorite puppy? It's you, yes you are!" she cooed, Isaac's backside wagging furiously. "Be a good boy and wake up Sten. We can't have anyone falling asleep on watch."

Isaac cocked his head and trotted over to the Qunari. Kira flashed a grin and quickly closed the tent flaps.

"What are you…"

Kira's eyes twinkled mischievously as she held a finger to her lips.

_Bark!_

"Parshaara!" Sten cried out.

Alistair and Kira stifled laughs as the Qunari muttered various curses at the Mabari outside.

"That was _wicked_," Alistair whispered. "How did you teach him to do that?"

"Oh, I used to do that to my Nan all of the time," she giggled. "She fell asleep a lot when she was reading to us. Fergus and I always came up with different ways to wake her up. Then, I got Isaac and we made a game of it."

Alistair watched Kira's fall as she spoke, and he felt a tug in his chest. What he wouldn't give to make things right for her.

"Come here," Alistair said, pulling her to him.

Kira laid her head against his chest and sighed. His splintmail felt cool against her cheek.

"Do you always sleep with your armor on?" she asked.

"Well, I wasn't sleeping, but yes," Alistair said. "I got used to it, since we've been traveling. And after the excitement from earlier, it just kind of seemed like the smart thing to do."

Kira nodded slightly and laced her fingers through his.

"So…" Alistair hesitated. "Did you mean what you said earlier? Um… about… spending the night…"

Kira leaned her head back and found his lips. The kiss was slow, curious. Soon it evolved into something more urgent. Their lips were hot and they fell together onto his bedroll.

"I… love you, Kira," Alistair panted, pulling away. "I love you."

"I love you, Alistair," she whispered. "And I _really_ think this will be more comfortable without the armor."

"Oh, Maker."

The Grey Wardens fumbled awkwardly as they undressed, boots and gloves clanging as they hit the ground. Kira turned her back to him as she removed her breastplate and skirt and held her arms over her breasts. She had never felt more vulnerable than in this moment, and she was scared to death.

Alistair came to her, and wrapped his arms around her.

"You are beautiful," he whispered.

She turned to face him and they lay together, exploring each other hesitantly. They joined with a gasp, and the world fell away.

* * *

Alistair woke with her in his arms. He brought a hand up and stroked her hair, smiling. No doubt the rest of the party would talk. There would be the knowing smiles and whispered comments at their backs.

Kira stirred and lazily kissed his cheek.

And for the first time in his life, Alistair just didn't care what anyone else thought about anything.


	8. Want & Need

Redcliffe tavern was packed. The news of Arl Eamon's recovery had spread quickly and the tavern's proprietor had announced drinks were on the house. Men cheered and slapped each other on the back. They had lost many in the weeks prior, but the arl's recovery gave them hope in this otherwise hopeless time. And so they drank and celebrated, and respectfully steered clear of the brooding man in the corner.

Alistair sat listlessly, staring blankly into the crowd. Relief had swept over him when the arl's healer announced the ashes were working. They had done it. _She_ had done it. It was she who had ultimately passed the Guardian's tests and it was she who had taken the ashes. They stood together as the Arl spoke, and for a moment, he let himself think that everything was going to be okay. And then Eamon had to go and ruin everything.

_King. He wants to make me king._

Alistair snorted. He wasn't cut out to be king, no matter what anyone said. No matter whose blood flowed through him. He had protested, of course, but the Arl had called upon his sense of duty. Eamon knew it was the one thing Alistair could never ignore. Duty. Discipline. Honor. They would call a Landsmeet and Alistair would be put forth as the rightful heir to the throne. By _not_ making a play for the throne, Eamon said, Alistair would effectively be letting Loghain win.

But what really bothered him was _her_. The arl had looked to her for approval, and she gave it to him. He had expected her of all people to understand why he should never be king, and yet, there she had stood agreeing with the arl, face scrunched up with determination and more purpose than he could ever hope to muster. Alistair had watched her and realized she had been _bred_ for this. Of course the daughter of a teyrn would be adept at politics.

Alistair had slipped out of the castle the first moment he had been able, awkwardly brushing off the thanks and admiration from passersby. The tavern had just seemed like the obvious place to go.

He sighed and hunched forward, head resting on his fists. Why couldn't anything be simple? Alistair was sure that part of the reason he had been selected for the Grey Wardens was to ensure that he could never make a play for the crown. Eamon had even spent years telling him how that could never happen. The Maker sure had a twisted sense of humor.

A loud crash forced Alistair out of his stupor. An exceptionally drunk man had tripped over himself, landing face first onto the floor. The waitress stepped carefully over him and continued serving the other patrons. The door opened, and the Warden frowned. It was getting dark. He had been at the tavern for too long. Kira was going to be angry. Alistair stood, and slowly made his way back to the castle.

* * *

Kira was perched on the steps of the castle, waiting, with her trusted Mabari laying at her feet. She had watched with amusement as Alistair clumsily slipped out of the castle. He was certainly no rogue, and had garnered more than a few raised eyebrows as he tiptoed out. She had let him go, knowing he needed some time to think. He had been gone for hours now, and she was worried. It dark now, save for the faint glow of the moon. Thankfully, the arl and arlessa had extended an invitation to stay at the castle for the night.

Kira heard the loud creak of the castle's door. She glanced over her shoulder as Morrigan approached.

"Alistair has still not returned, I take it? I say we leave without him. Surely we have better things to do than wait around for that fool."

Kira shot a look at the witch and frowned.

"You know that's not an option, Morrigan."

"'Tis obvious your feelings are clouding your judgment!"

"Morrigan… just be quiet."

"Have it your way," Morrigan scoffed, tossing up her hands. The witch turned on her heels and disappeared back into the castle.

Kira sighed. Isaac whined, pushing his large head into her hand. She smiled down at the hound and rubbed behind his ears.

"At least you'll never leave me," she cooed. The hound groaned in appreciation, backside wagging furiously.

Kira looked toward the castle gates. A figure was approaching.

_Alistair_.

"You stay here," she whispered to Isaac. The hound cocked his head and whined, but lay down with a sigh.

Kira jogged down the steps. She saw Alistair halt and stiffen as she approached. She furrowed her brow, and crossed the distance between them. They stood facing each other at the gates. Alistair shifted awkwardly under her gaze.

"Alistair, where have you been?" Kira asked softly.

"Look, I don't want to talk right now."

"You can't run off for hours and hours and then come back without an explanation!" Kira felt her face growing warm.

Alistair scowled, but did not speak.

"I was worried about you!" Kira continued. "I let you slip out because I thought you needed some time to think, but you've been gone for hours. "

"Fine. I was thinking about how _ridiculous_ it is that everyone expects me to be king all of the sudden. I can't believe you agreed with the arl on this. I would be a terrible king!"

"Do you really think I have a choice in this? It's either go along with the arl or capitulate to Loghain, the man who betrayed the king, betrayed the Grey Wardens. He betrayed _Duncan_! And the arl is right. Even if we can secure all of the allies against the Blight, we don't have the resources to go to war with Loghain and have enough men to take on the darkspawn. I can't believe you can't see that."

"Of course I see it!" Alistair hissed. "That doesn't mean I have to like it!"

Alistair turned away from her abruptly and kicked the dirt. Kira sighed, and reached out to him. His shoulders slumped down.

"Maker's breath, I'm an idiot."

"No you're not."

"I am," he groaned, turning back to face her. "There's so much at stake, and all I can think about is myself. You know, it's funny. I was watching you with the arl, and all I was thinking was how you'd be a better ruler than I could ever hope to be."

"You could be a great king if you wanted to be," Kira said.

"I bet you say that to all the royal bastards."

"Well, of course!" she laughed. "But with you, I really mean it."

Alistair allowed himself a smile, and pulled her into a kiss. Kira sighed against his mouth, lips parted. She pushed against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He broke away from the kiss, nuzzling into her neck. His breath felt hot against her skin.

"How do you do it?" he murmured.

"Do what?" she whispered in his ear.

"Make me feel like this," his voice was hoarse.

"It must be that whole 'love' thing," she whispered.

Their lips met again, breath ragged and hot. Alistair pushed against her, fingers pulling through her hair. Their tongues danced together, soft moans and sighs escaping with the growing want and need. Kira felt the sudden press of stone against her back and realized that Alistair had pinned her against the wall. She found his hands and laced their fingers together. His lips were on her neck now, and she shivered.

"Alistair…" she whispered.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"We can't do this here… not outside the castle," her voice was thick. "But the arl has given us beds for the night."

Alistair lifted his head to meet her eyes.

"Beds?" he arched his eyebrows.

"And we'll have to be sneaky about it," she smiled coyly. "But I am exceptionally stealthy…"

Alistair grinned.

"Well then, what can I say? Your wish is my command."


	9. Comfort

**Author's note: **First off, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update. We had a death in the family and it was pretty difficult to focus on anything. Then things were starting to get back to normal, but I had to play catch-up on other things I had ignored to focus on helping my husband deal with everything. The important thing is that we're all doing well now, and I have time to write again. Just remember, don't take your loved ones for granted, and never be afraid to tell them what they mean to you.

*

They laid together in silence, enjoying the comforts of the large feather bed. Yes, this was _definitely _more comfortable in a bed. Kira was nestled again him, her arm draped lazily across his chest.

"So, what happens now?" Kira asked, breaking the silence with the question that had hung in the air for hours.

"I don't know," Alistair sighed. "Eamon wants to make me king, and we still have to find some way to stop the Blight." Alistair hesitated. "What do you think?"

"I don't really know," Kira said slowly. "Duncan told me Grey Wardens were stripped of their titles and claims when they joined."

"Funny how people overlook these things," Alistair said dryly. "My entire life I was told how unimportant I was. 'Bastards don't matter, Alistair. You have no claim on the throne, Alistair.' And when they shipped me off to the Chantry, the Revered Mother said the same thing." Alistair groaned and pounded a fist into the mattress. "I can't believe any of this is happening. I'm nobody."

Kira propped herself up on an elbow and met Alistair's eyes. "Would Duncan have recruited you if you weren't special?" When Alistair's cheeks flushed, Kira smirked. "Besides, I was the daughter of a teyrn, and as such, I have exceptionally high standards for members of the opposite sex."

"Oh, do you now?"

"_Incredibly_ high standards. I wouldn't settle for just anyone."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Alistair chuckled. "But, really. What are we going to do?"

Kira laid her head down on Alistair's chest again and sighed. "I guess we stay together, no matter what."

"Right, I think I can handle that," Alistair smiled, and pulled her into a kiss.

*

"Redcliffe is behind you, Warden," Arl Eamon said. "Every able-bodied man will take up a sword against the darkspawn. We are forever indebted to you."

"Thank you, my lord," Kira nodded. "Now, we must take our leave. We have a lot of ground to cover and not much time."

The arl turned to Alistair. "I trust you'll be staying behind? We have much to discuss regarding your claim to the throne."

Kira opened her mouth to object, but Alistair responded before she had the chance.

"Of course I'm not staying," he said. "There's too much at stake."

"Alistair, you have a duty…"

"My duty lies with the Grey Wardens, _my lord_," Alistair interrupted, his voice surprisingly steady. "I was told that an honorable man must always remember his duty. Or have you forgotten?"

Kira glanced at their companions. Sten nodded approvingly, and even Morrigan looked impressed. Kira smiled to herself, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Alistair and I are the only Grey Wardens in Ferelden, my lord. Prince or no, he will not be left behind."

The arl looked taken aback, but nodded stiffly. "So be it. We can discuss things once we've called the Landsmeet."

*

They had camped next to the River Dane. Sten had wandered into the river and surprised everyone by coming back with several fish in his bare hands. Leliana squealed with delight at the sight. The Qunari merely shrugged and busied himself with preparing the fish for cooking.

Kira sat uncomfortably on a boulder, staring intensely at the map. They were heading north to the mines leading to Soldier's Peak.

_If we take the North Road and cut across the Coastlands, we should reach the mines in two days. And Highever is only a day's journey, it looks like…_

She shook her head. There was nothing in Highever. Not anymore. She glanced up and surveyed the camp. The Circle and Arl Eamon had sent liaisons. Bodahn Feddic and his boy were still tagging along.

_These are my people now. We're all in this together._

She called over Wynne and Alistair.

"I'm heading to Soldier's Peak tomorrow. And you're coming with me."

*

"We're never going to see daylight again," Alistair muttered. "And when the Blight destroys Ferelden, we can blame it on the Drydens."

Kira stifled a laugh. Levi Dryden had claimed it would take only an hour or two to navigate the maze of tunnels. She wasn't sure how long they had been in the tunnels, but under the glow from Wynne's staff, she could see the confidence slipping from Levi's face as he guided them through the maze. The trader wasn't cut out for navigating, but she respected his determination. Some things were too important to forget.

They walked in silence, save for Isaac's heavy snuffling against the ground. The hound's ears prickled curiously, before he stopped and whined. Kira held her breath and listened. She heard nothing, but … a faint breeze danced across her cheek.

"Can you feel that?" she whispered, squeezing Alistair's gloved hand. "We'll see daylight again, after all."

The tunnel finally opened up to the surface. The ground was a blanket of white, and the ancient keep rose impressively before her. Kira inhaled deeply, grateful for the crisp air that filled her lungs.

"Soldier's Peak," Alistair said, falling in next to her. "Looks like it's seen better days. Better centuries more like."

"I never thought I'd see it, and yet here I stand," Wynne gasped.

"I told you I could get us here, I did!" Levi said smugly.

"Oh, Maker, just admit it," Alistair groaned. "We were so lost."

"Turned around, thank you very much. And besides… the map got soggy in places…"

"Oh, soggy," Alistair scoffed. "And I suppose that had nothing to do with the sweat dripping off your brow."

As the men bickered, Kira and Wynne stood facing the keep. Kira felt uneasy, and shivered.

"There is much power here, and old magic," the mage said. "The Veil is weak. We must be on our guard."

"Let's go," the Warden said finally. "We have a base to reclaim."

As they walked toward the ancient fortress, the memories of the dead came alive.

*

They arrived at the main camp the following evening. Alistair excused himself to his tent and Wynne busied herself with mending next to the campfire. Kira glanced around the camp and frowned.

"Where's Sten?" she asked Leliana.

"He went for a walk. He's been acting very strangely, if you ask me." Leliana clucked. "Zevran said he refused to give up watch last night. He probably fell asleep in the woods somewhere."

Kira thanked Leliana and whistled for her hound. Isaac came bounding toward her, a damp ox bone protruding from his jowls. The hound dropped it at her feet and sat on his haunches, staring at her expectantly. Kira smiled and scratched the mabari behind his great ears.

"Let's go find Sten," she said. Isaac barked once began sniffing along the ground. They found the Qunari seated by the river, staring blankly into the water. Isaac padded up to him and whined. The Qunari inclined his head to the hound, but remained silent.

"Are you okay, Sten?"

The Qunari hesitated. "It's strange. You are not as callow as I thought you were."

"Thank you, Sten, that's… wait, callow? You thought I was callow?"

"This surprises you? Surely you've heard this before."

Kira resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the warrior, and shook her head. "What's on your mind, Sten?"

"You asked me once what I was doing in that cage in Lothering. I caged myself."

"What? Why?"

"I was sent here by the arishok, and I was not sent alone. We traveled for months in this damp country. One night, we set up camp by Lake Calenhad. We were attacked by the darkspawn. They came up from the ground, from the air. They were all around us. I saw the last of them slain, but not fast enough. I fell."

"That sounds like what happened to us at Ostagar."

"I had heard about that battle. The Grey Wardens stood their ground when everyone else fled." Sten looked at her approvingly. "I came to and there were villagers standing above me. My companions were dead and my sword was no longer in my hand. I asked them where it was, but they said they didn't know."

Kira stared into the river. "What happened then?"

"I killed them. With my bare hands. When the guards came for me, I went peacefully."

"Sten, that's terrible! You killed them over a sword? You could have just gotten a new one."

The Qunari's head snapped toward her, and anger flared in his eyes briefly. "Do your people not have souls the way we understand them? Convenient." He sighed and looked back into the water. "That sword was crafted for my hand alone. Even if I could travel back to Seheron alone and unarmed, I would be known as a traitor to my people. That is why I can never go home."

Kira reached down and scratched Isaac's back, and turned toward the Qunari. "Where exactly were you when the darkspawn attacked you?"

"Near Lake Calenhad, by the docks."

"Don't worry, Sten. We'll find your sword."

The Qunari glanced at her and the hint of a smile played on his face. "Those words may prove to be empty, but… thank you."

He stood and walked back toward camp.

*

They were headed back toward the docks when they crossed through Bann Loren's lands. Bann Loren had been a friend of her father, Kira knew. Her mother's friend, Lady Landra, was the bann's wife and she had been killed when Howe's men attacked the castle. As they walked, Isaac's ears pricked and the hound began to growl. Then Kira saw the guards and the man they surrounded.

She held up a hand to her companions and they watched and listened. When the guards stabbed the man, she cried out. The battle was over quickly and she tended to the man the best she could. The man came to, finally, and she realized who he was.

"You… you're the Grey Warden. Duncan's recruit. I remember you from Ostagar," the man said weakly. "I was in King Cailan's honor guard."

"I remember you," Kira said. "You were close to the king."

The man nodded. "I need your help. There are documents that were left behind, and King Maric's sword. In a chest. You need to find them. I had the key, the king had given it to me, but I buried it in the camp so the darkspawn wouldn't find it. You need to retrieve them, we owe that much to Cailan."

"How do we even know they're still there?" Kira asked.

The man's head dropped and he coughed, bloody spittle showered the ground in front of him. "We don't. Please, you have to try. And… if you find his body… the king's, I mean. You need to give him a proper burial." The man shuddered and took one last gasping breath. He was still.

Kira closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She stood and turned to her companions.

"We're going to Ostagar," she said. "Tonight."


	10. Catharsis

_"We're going to Ostagar," she said. "Tonight."_

Her companions stared at her, gaping. Kira shifted uncomfortably, reaching up to her hair and twisting a braid nervously. She looked around for some hint of approval, but even Alistair was looking at her strangely. Isaac looked up at her and whined.

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?" Kira snapped.

Morrigan cleared her throat. "You do realize that Ostagar is, at the very least, a five day journey from where we stand?"

The Warden faltered. She hadn't thought of that. "We need to get down there as soon as possible. We'll only camp for a few hours and keep going… we need to avenge the king, and Duncan. Everyone who died down there…"

"'Tis foolish to charge down there as you plan to," the witch replied. "If you truly wish to avenge this king of yours, you should think about what you're doing. Unless, of course, you plan on ridding Ferelden of all the Grey Wardens."

Kira crossed her arms and nodded stiffly.

"Morrigan's right, as much as it pains me to say that," Alistair said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Don't get me wrong… we left some darkspawn down there that really deserve a sword through the middle. But, we also have to be realistic. We don't know what we're going to find down there, and we need to be at our best."

"Child, the events of Ostagar still haunt my dreams, as I'm sure they haunt yours," Wynne said gently. "But, I also agree. We need to approach this cautiously, make sure we're rested and ready. King Cailan deserves that much."

Zevran, Leliana and Sten nodded in agreement. Kira's shoulders drooped. They were right, and she knew it.

"You're all right, I'm sorry," she said finally. "Let's just go."

She turned and walked, never looking back to see if they followed, just as Duncan had told her not to do when she left her parents to die.

They traveled south, along the River Dane in silence. Kira walked paces ahead of everyone else. Only the hound dared keep her pace. It was strange to be walking that route again, to be heading back toward Ostagar. How long had it been since she traveled with Duncan? Months? Years? Time bled together, and she wasn't even sure anymore.

When the light began to fade, they stopped and set up camp in a clearing. Kira helped prepare supper with Leliana, and they ate. She smiled and joked with them, and sat with Alistair by the fire when everything had been cleaned up and packed away again. She laid her head against his shoulder and watched the flames.

"Are you okay?" he murmured into her ear. "You can talk to me, you know."

"I've been thinking about Duncan, when we were traveling from Highever to Ostagar," she said. "He was so kind to me. He told me to take my time to grieve and that things would get better with time. I didn't believe him then."

Alistair kissed her forehead. "What about now?"

"I think he was right," Kira said slowly. "I don't think you ever get over something like that. But it does get better."

Alistair nodded. "It does. Especially when you have someone to help you get through it."

* * *

Four more days passed before they reached the edge of the Hinterlands. The ruins of Ostagar loomed on the horizon, but daylight was fading. Kira and Alistair stood together while their companions busied themselves around the camp.

"Can you feel them?" Alistair asked, his voice low.

She nodded. "How many do you think there are?"

Alistair frowned and shook his head. "I'm not sure. The bulk of the horde isn't here any longer, that much I can tell."

Kira threw her arms around herself and shivered. "We'll head out in the morning. I want you and Wynne to come with me. Isaac is coming, too. I think he deserves a little closure as well. The rest will stay here."

At the first sign of morning's light, and they walked the old Tevinter road to Ostagar. Kira remembered walking with Duncan, Isaac close on her heels. She had followed him then. Now she was the one who lead. She had left Highever as a Cousland. Now she was a Grey Warden. So much had changed.

"You never told me how you became a Grey Warden, Kira," Wynne said as they walked.

"Arl Howe killed my family," the Warden replied. "Duncan saved me."

Wynne looked incredulous. "Rendon Howe? Why would he do such a thing?"

"Kira is the daughter of Teyrn Cousland," Alistair said, glancing at Wynne.

"What… You are the last of the Couslands?" the mage gasped. "My lady, I had no idea!"

"Don't. I'm a Grey Warden now."

Wynne placed a hand on Kira's shoulder. "You are a Grey Warden, yes, but don't forget who you are. You are meant for great things, child."

"I just hope that I can show the strength Duncan saw in me," Kira said quietly.

"You have done that every day I've known you," Alistair said. Kira gave him small smile and turned toward the ruins. It wasn't much farther now.

Kira unsheathed her daggers as they approached the ruins. Isaac's hackles were raised, and the hound crouched low to the ground, teeth bared. He could sense the darkspawn, too. They were waiting. She saw the genlocks first, armed with their twisted longbows. She heard the _whoosh_ of the arrows as they flew past her, then the great burst of light as Wynne used her magic against them. Kira parried and flew at one, slicing his corrupted head off in one powerful strike.

The hurlocks came next. Alistair yelled and charged at them, overpowering them with his kite shield. His sword, Asturian's Might, was infused with magic that weakened the darkspawn, and the hurlocks fell. It was quiet again, and they moved on.

"Something about returning here makes me feel old," Alistair said. "I believed it would be a glorious battle, and that we'd win. I was a different person back then."

"We were all a little younger the last time we were here, Alistair," Wynne said.

"Well, not you, Wynne," Alistair grinned. "You've always been old."

Wynne scowled at him. "With lip like that, you'll be lucky to live to be half my age."

Kira motioned for them to be quiet. Isaac was staring ahead, growling. They walked through the ruins. This was where Kira and Duncan had met with the king and Loghain after the Joining. And there, in the distance… hurlocks.

"Go!" she yelled, as she ran toward the creatures. She dodged the swing of an axe, but the Hurlock caught her shoulder in the upswing. Kira cried out in pain, and stabbed the beast through an eye. It screamed, ichor spewing out onto her. There was no time to recover, as another creature charged her. Wynne cast an ice spell on him, and the Hurlock froze. The mage shattered it with a heavy blow of magic.

Alistair and Isaac had taken down another in the distance. Wynne cast a healing spell on Kira's shoulder, and she felt the heat and relief as the magic worked on her. Her shoulder was sore, but she could move. As she stood, she caught the sparkle of gold from the corner of her eye. She walked toward the glint. Gold greaves.

"Those were Cailan's," Alistair said. "This feels wrong, to find these here, thick with their rot. The rest of his things must be here."

They walked ahead looking for any sign of the king's armor. They climbed the stairs and Kira paused. This was where she had met Alistair, when he was fighting with the mage. She saw something up ahead and picked it up. The Joining chalice. She shuddered as she remembered the feel of the corrupted blood running down her throat.

They plowed on, fighting pockets of darkspawn everywhere. They found the key Elric had buried, and Cailan's chest. She handed Maric's sword to Alistair, and picked up the letters. Kira looked through the letters, gaping.

"Look at this," she said, handing the letters to Wynne.

"It seems our king had his share of secrets," the mage tsked, shaking her head.

"Oh, what's that say, something about an alliance?" Alistair asked, peeking over Kira's shoulder. "We could finally have peace!"

Kira exchanged a glance with Wynne. "Well, yes, but… We have to find the rest of Cailan's armor."

The Warden closed her eyes, trying to sense where the other darkspawn might be. The Tower of Ishal.

"We need to go across the bridge, to the Tower of Ishal," she said.

"Well, let's hope it ends a little better this time," Alistair said dryly.

They walked toward the tower. They found the king, crucified. And in the distance, a genlock emissary made the dead come to life again.

* * *

They fought their way through the tower, until they came to a massive hole leading down below.

"Do you think the darkspawn made this?" Kira asked.

"It looks that way," Alistair frowned. "And it looks like the only way back out is down."

They climbed through the tunnel, finding themselves surrounded by more darkspawn. They fought through the maze until they found another way leading out. They were on the battlefield now, where the armies and darkspawn collided. The corpse of an ogre lay off in the distance, and the emissary appeared once again. A swirl of dark magic surrounded the ogre and it rose. Skeletons came to life as well. Kira steadied herself, focusing on the ogre.

The beast threw its head back and roared, and ran toward them. The swords that killed it the first time still remained.

"Maker's breath, those are Duncan's swords!" Alistair yelled. Alistair charged at the ogre. "This is for Duncan, you son of a bitch!"

Wynne used her Earthquake spell, and the ground shook wildly, throwing the ogre and skeletons off balance. Kira stumbled as she ran, but took down the creatures as they came to her. Wynne was focusing on the darkspawn mage in the distance. She cast a fireball and the creature flailed wildly, and fell.

Kira had taken down the last of the skeletons when she saw Alistair and her hound attacking the ogre. It grabbed Alistair in its massive fist and Kira screamed.

"Freeze it, Wynne!"

She ran toward the ogre, as Wynne cast her magic. Alistair dropped to the ground, and groaned. Kira flew at the ogre, slicing and stabbing wildly. The magic wore off and it advanced on them again. This time, Alistair jumped and overpowered it with his shield. It fell back with a thud, and Alistair raised his sword in one quick movement, shoving the blade into the ogre's mouth. It shuddered violently and finally, laid still.

Alistair stood, and pulled the swords from the ogre's chest. He stared at Duncan's swords silently. Kira thought she heard him say a prayer. Alistair threw his head back and yelled, driving the blades into the ogre again, and fell to his knees and sobbed.

* * *

They took down Cailan's body and made a pyre. It was not much, but it was the best they could do. The king was finally laid to rest. Kira watched the flames, and thought of her family in Highever.

_One day I will do the same for you._

They walked back to camp, feeling just a little bit older than they had when they arrived.


End file.
